Mend
by julzaibatsu
Summary: "People wore so many faces, so many masks and so far, she had only seen the bad ones. Where were the ones who didn't wear them?" - when your heart breaks, who is there that can mend it whole again?


It was a cold winters late afternoon in Crimea. It poured with rain, the wind was blowing moderately. The rain soaked Elincia's clothes despite the brown cloak she had on as she ran away from the city of Melior, away from Castle Crimea. Her queenly clothes became dirtier by the second. Her hair began falling out of place, messed up and becoming ratty by the cold, moist winds and soaking rain. But Elincia did not care. She just kept running. Never did she want to be stuck inside that castle with those senators ever again.

The meeting today had been more than just dreadful. It had been so bad, that it left her feeling shallow and hollow inside. She just didn't want to think about it anymore. No, all she wanted to do was run. Within one day, Elincia had that feeling again; she didn't want to be their benevolent loving queen anymore.

This, to her, appeared to be the final straw. Because not only had they criticised her ideals…it had moved onto a personal level of attacking her very morals she held dear and on who she was as a person. There had been constant glares and scowls at her all afternoon as she tended to her duties and talked to each senator. But then one of them…one of them just said one thing that made Elincia's heart grow tight and swell. It was right there and then, that she had more than enough. When it finally came to the end of her duties, she donned her brown cloak she used to hide herself in public, started running and never stopped.

Eventually, she found the place she had been looking for. There it was. The small cave that she would hide herself in nearby the now abandoned royal villa, obscured in the forest trees. She ran into the cave and just in time too; a loud rumble of thunder just sounded. Whenever she was very upset as a child, she would crawl into this cave and sob her sorrows away alone until someone found her. In which that someone had always been Lucia; after all, only her best friend knew every secret Elincia hid from everyone else in the world.

Soon, she settled down against the back wall of the small dark cave, huddled up. Through the opening hole, she saw the rain pour down. The wind roared and the thunder rumbled in patterns with each other.

Finally finding herself obscured by the weather and the cave, Elincia cried.

* * *

_Half an hour later in Castle Crimea…_

"Bastian, do you know where Her Majesty disappeared to after the meeting?" Lucia asked the savvy count, who looked at her with sadness.

"Alas…the last I saw of our beloved queen was her retreating to her bed chambers." Bastian sighed before walking off in a far slower pace than normal.

Lucia could not blame him. She had all but felt the onslaught of what happened today from those Ashera damned senators. Today they had been harsher than ever, criticising her of being too soft and inexperienced. Apparently she had even heard one of them said they couldn't even live up to the image of her parents. Even by noble standards, to say something like that was immoral and utterly wrong.

_This is too unfair_…she thought sadly, shaking her head as she made her way to her bed chambers. Often, she would find her crying into her pillow on her bed on the worst of stressful days.

"It should've been her…" suddenly, two of the senators came approaching her direction. Lucia simply remained quiet as they passed talking, not paying to take notice…

"You know what I told her with confidence, knowing she wouldn't have the guts to stand to me? It should've been her that was lost, not Duke Renning."

Lucia froze in place. No…no she…she did not just…she did not just hear that. No…

Immediately, she turned around to the back of the senator.

"Excuse me…but what did you just say?" the senator turned around to find Lucia with a subtle glare shot at him.

"Oh look, it's the queen's trusted advisor. Of course only she would call me out on what I say," the senator sneered, "But yeah, that's what I said. She should've been lost, not Duke Renning. Duke Renning-"

"Duke Renning would've had you reprimanded if he ever heard you speak of his niece like that!" Lucia snapped, infuriated, "How dare you speak to the queen in that manner! I won't brook such insults to her like that!"

"Still your tongue, Lady Lucia!" the senator snapped back at her, "Know your place!"

"I do know my place! It's at my queen's side as her trusted advisor! Once again; I refuse to brook any insults to my queen!" the will to restrain herself from slaying through that senator right there and then was growing thin. Laevateinn was even rattling in its sheath from the sheer infuriation that Lucia exhibited in her trembling.

"Oh but what are you ever going to do about it, Lady Lucia?" the senator jeered, "You've not got the authority to reprimand me. Or…you wouldn't feel compelled by chance to kill me on the spot now, would you?"

Lucia grit her teeth behind closed lips, not being able to respond to that. Ultimately, he was right. There wasn't really much she could do, even though on a moral level, something had to be done. Not even reporting it; that would be seen as silly and immature in the eyes of many. But it was such an insult that it could be reported! But yet, it could not be. For frustratingly, this was about politics and not about morality, no matter that the situation called said morality in.

"Well then. If you don't mind, we shall be on our way, Lady Lucia. Good day." The senator finished, leaving the angered Lucia to stand on her own in the hallway. She had to take a moment to breathe and think straight. An oncoming headache had just come her way, occurring in her head. But then, the full realisation of what had just been said occurred and hit her full force.

He had said those words _directly_ to her.

Lucia broke into a run towards her bed chambers. Many soldiers and noble occupants of the castle gave her a look as she ran, but she did not care. She reached her bed chambers and opened the doors.

She wasn't there…

_Curse you to Ashera damned hell_…she cursed to the senators in her head. It was immediately clear to her what happened. Elincia had enough of it and had fled the castle.

Lucia had a good idea just where she would've fled to...

* * *

_Back in the cave another half an hour later…_

"_You just can't live up to the image of your parents."_

_"You're too soft and inexperienced to ever match up!"_

"_I wish it had been Duke Renning that had lived and not you!"_

They wished that her uncle had lived. They wished that he had survived on, that she had died. No, it was just like they had wanted for all these years. Her parents had kept her a secret from the public and her uncle was to be the successor, not her.

They never wished for her to even _exist_…

That was how insignificant she was to them. To the point where they wished that she was dead. It didn't matter for her before that war, because back then, she wasn't known to them in that time! But now when she did…

"It's not like it was my choice to suddenly pop out of thin air!" Elincia screamed, her voice echoing in the cave, which was obscured by thunder, "I never even _wanted _to be queen, curse you!"

She knew that if her Uncle Renning or anyone caught her using that language, she would've been reprimanded. But right now, she did not care. She had handled this whole ordeal for the past three years with poise. She didn't have to, but she had no choice. She was the last and only heir of House Crimea, hence the title was rightfully hers to take.

But it didn't even make sense! If they believed she was too young and naïve to be the queen, why'd they let it be so in the first place! They could've easily vouched for someone else! How was it they believed in her leading Crimea to a golden age at one point and think her incapable of it now?

People wore so many faces, so many masks and so far, she had only seen the bad ones. Where were the ones who didn't wear them? But then she too, was a persecutor; only she was forced to wear the queenly mask. The senators? They were able to change them with freedom and flexibility and once upon a time, they had to put on masks in front of her parents and she wore none. No, she didn't need to wear masks before it all in front of anyone.

Elincia shifted further in the corner of the cave, curled up and trembling from being drenched in the rain. It didn't help the many tears running down her cheeks were making her more sagged and wet. In this time, she took off her crown and undid the bun that held her hair together, letting it flow freely. She studied the crown with her eyes, tracing it with her fingers. The crown had once been her Mother's worn on her head with as much grace and sense of dignity than she ever could have in front of their eyes. She had been the most beautiful of all gems in Crimea, she would hear so many say and she did not disagree. A gem that she could never match up to in their eyes.

"Mother…how did you do it?" she asked aloud, looking at the crown with miserable amber eyes, "Why is it that when I do need to know how to rule this country, you're not there to teach me…"

An image of her mother reflected in the crown. Of course, Elincia only knew this was of her own will to be here, to see her. It frustrated her even more when the image in that crown did not open their mouth to speak and simply smiled at her wordlessly. It was doing nothing! Nothing for her at all!

She dropped the crown on the floor and sobbed, her hair falling in front of her face. She felt so pathetic, so childish in her actions. Her actions were childish, immature, running away like this. They were right; she couldn't handle the criticism and she couldn't handle being queen. She was too inexperienced to handle such insults towards her. She had acted irrationally running away to here like a child, but that was all her mind had thought up with her doing. She cursed in her cries at herself for not being strong.

At this moment, she felt one arm wrap around her shoulder and there was no questioning who it was. Elincia curled up, crying harder as Lucia wrapped them both in a blanket. She propped herself against the stone, hard cave wall, drawing Elincia close in her arms. Elincia found her own arms around her waist, sitting in Lucia's lap with her head buried in the crane of her neck.

There was no need for words to say to her for the longest time. She continued to sob hopelessly, the rain pelting itself on the earth and thunder rumbling loudly. It was a ferocious storm out there; Crimea's winter storms had come to be quite violent in nature at times.

Elincia looked out to the rain outside. She could feel Lucia's eyes watch it pour out there too, with the way she absentmindedly ran her fingers through her let down hair in a calm rhythm. Without words, Elincia could just feel the sense of sorrow from Lucia and it made her want to cry even more. Always, would Lucia know wordlessly what her thoughts and feelings were on everything; she was just that knowing and close to Elincia. At the least, she never had to wear a mask around Lucia.

"Please calm yourself, my queen…" she spoke softly, sadly, "You must be able to return to the castle tonight."

"No," Elincia responded in an instant in a choked sob, pulling away to look at her, "I'm not going back. Not around them."

"They'll go into a panic not knowing where you are, or I am. They need to see our safe return."

"Then let them panic for once!" Elincia found herself crying out, "Some of them won't even care I'm not there! Some of them even wish me dead for all I know!"

"…we must go back regardless, Your Majesty." she said after a short pause, "This will but cause them to think further negatively of your image."

Lucia didn't want to do this to her. Elincia could hear it in her voice, feel it in her heart. She didn't want to send her back just as much as Elincia wished herself.

"Don't…" Elincia pleaded in a last act of desperation, "Don't send me back there. Please…Lucia…"

But Lucia's river blue eyes only spoke of longing and pain. Elincia knew the conveying message. Those eyes, they told her - _'If I could, I would'_. But deep down, Elincia knew she couldn't. It was her duty to keep her safe, to return her to the castle and ruining Lucia's reputation as well as hers was the last thing she wanted. Lucia ran her fingers down a strand of her emerald hair, her voice a whisper when she spoke.

"I'm sorry…"

Elincia closed her eyes. She rested her free hand on Lucia's cheek, putting her head to hers. At this moment, they would both cry; confirmed when Elincia felt a single tear fall past her fingers from her lady knight. Elincia's tears fell too; her breaths shuddered and quiet sniffling to go with them. Always, they had shared in each other's sorrows, had cried for the other. It had been a promise for them to always do that. Lucia had never cried in front of anyone but her. There was no one else she would cry for, or cry with. With no one, was she ever so personal, so close and so intimate with than Elincia. Elincia could say the same for herself, no matter that she loved Geoffrey equally the same.

Lucia…she was…there just wasn't an explanation for it. All it could be was they were understood.

"…can we at least stay a little longer?" Lucia looked at her before giving a short nod. With that, Elincia settled herself, once again resting her head in the crane of her neck. She could fall asleep here, just let Lucia carry her out back to the castle and be woken by her the next morning. Despite the sobs and shudders that had stopped, still, tears fell down her face. Elincia was tired, so very tired...

"When we go back…" Elincia spoke, "Will you stay by my side as I walk through those hallways, faced with the eyes of disdain from them?"

"I will shoot them back those same eyes dare they try to speak ill of you again, my queen." the slightest of smiles crossed Elincia's lips. Why should she ask for Lucia to be near when she would come find her when she went missing? Lucia reached for her free hand and squeezed it tight, their fingers entwined. Another sign that she would always be here to look after and support her in dreadful times like this.

Elincia could feel her head begin to droop. Her mind, her eyes, her body; they were screaming for sleep, to disappear into darkness for a while. To disappear away from the cruel, harsh world.

"If you're beckoning for sleep, Elincia, then do so." and hearing Lucia finally say her name made her give in. She leaned heavily against Lucia, her eyes closing and allowing for her body to relax. Her body went limp as her mind was cleared of thoughts, the sounds of the storm drowning out of her ears.

The last thing Elincia felt, before she disappeared into the comforting darkness of sleep, were soft wet lips gently placed against hers…

* * *

**Oh Julz. Why did you have to end it with that soft kiss? ****But anyway, I was hoping I'd write a generic L&E fic where it can be interpreted either as romantic or friendship _(like in the game)_. Because writing generic L&E about their bond as a whole is great. Of course however, I failed, because I just become absolutely hopeless for these two "OTL. But this came after yesterday when a sudden nuclear explosion _(like Daein attacking Crimea in Path of Radiance)_went off in the Tumblr FE Fandom which made me see the real thoughts and feelings of people I liked.**

**Some of you may have heard of the new SpotPass character called Paris, who calls himself the 'descendent of Blue Fames'. People immediately went to assumptions that he was Ike's great great grandson and started laughing at Ike/Soren shippers because their "ship was sinking". It was cruel, disgusting and was enough for me to temporarily leave the fandom for the stupid and even discriminating treatment of those people. I don't ship Ike/Soren, but I accept it as part of canon and to see people laugh and reveal their true, ugly selves destroyed the kindness I had towards the fandom in one fell blow.**

**I have morals about accepting people for who they are and discrimination affects me personally _(I'm prone to being discriminated for my autism)_. So when night-time came and I had calmed down more, I projected all my negativity into this fan fic. I felt like Elincia here on that day...I kept asking what was happening. Why I saw different masks turned on that day and why it caused me such hatred, anger and sorrow...**

**...but that's enough of that. I hope you enjoyed the fan fiction and I'd like to thank even-artichokes-have-hearts from Tumblr for beta-reading this for me _(about time you got someone to beta-read your fan fics Julz you)_. Also, I was conflicted in thinking of adding Romance to the genre, but it's only the very last line and is not the big theme and the entire fan fic is pretty much Hurt/Comfort/Angst for the record.**

**Regards,**  
_Archsage Julz  
_**PS: ****To anyone who even tries to hate on me for shipping L&E - did you not just read what I said here? If you did and don't care, you're a gutless fool. Go and read about your own ship and ignore this story; I don't need to hear your negativity and nor does anyone else here.**


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